Martin, , page 7. And when you expect yourself to do the impossible, youre constantly disappointed. You tear yourself down with harsh criticism that far exceeds your actual shortcomings or mistakes. And no matter what you accomplish, you never feel good enough. When we pursue excellence or high standards, we value the process, not just the outcome. We know that the learning, fun, relationships, and memories that we build along the way, are often as important as the outcome.
When we value the process, we are better equipped to weather lifes ups and downs because we know that the outcome isnt always a reflection of our effort, skills, or intelligence. They tend to only see what they did wrong and cant find any value in doing something imperfectly.
This kind of perfectionist thinking can also be used to justify a success at any cost mindset. And this is how many perfectionists end up compromising their health and relationships in the name of winning or achieving. And when we have this mindset, we cant appreciate the learning that comes from mistakes and we cant enjoy the process of learning, growing, and healthy striving for excellence.
Perfectionism is rigid theres only one right way to do things, theres only one way to be successful, being second-best is unacceptable. But high standards are fluid, meaning we can adjust our goals or expectations as needed.
However, the unit on the American Civil War was particularly challenging and then Dillon got sick and missed two days of school. Initially, he was disappointed with his performance, but he recognized that hed tried his best and pushing himself so hard had probably contributed to getting sick. Dillon adjusted his unrealistic expectations and decided to aim for an A in the class.
This was still a high standard, but it was attainable and more flexible than his original goal. In other words, we can have high standards without expecting perfection from ourselves or others. When we strive for excellence, we feel satisfied with a job well done. We learn from our mistakes and dont let them define us. We enjoy the process, not just the outcome of our endeavors. And we remain flexible and can adjust our standards and goals as needed.
We dont get stuck on all-or-nothing thinking or self-criticism. And when we strive for excellence rather than perfection, we aim high, but we keep our lives in balance; we value self-care , fun, and relationships, in addition to our accomplishments.
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I demanded perfection in every part of my life. But the area I struggled the most with was the desire for body perfection. I spent years trying to whittle my body down with exercise, diets, and restriction in an attempt to get the figure I deemed flawless. The pressure I put on myself to be a size 2, to eat only calories a day, to spend at least 45 minutes at the gym daily was agonizing.
I lived and breathed this obsession of needing and wanting to be perfect. Looking back, I can see how detrimental this drive was to living and enjoying my life. In my chase for perfection, I put unnecessary pressure on myself to be something I was not. I wasted hours and hours trying to be someone different and wishing I was somewhere other than where I currently was.
The reality is that striving for perfection holds us back. One of the dear friends I had met living abroad in Thailand was in town and wanted to see me. She wanted to do dinner with a group of people, then head out dancing for the ball drop. I agonized over this decision to go or not. I gave up a chance to catch up with this dear friend, to have fun with others, and to dance the night away because I was unhappy with my body.
It was a moment of life that I missed out on because I was desperately pursing a perfect body. So the next time you get caught up in the endless pursuit of perfection, here are three things to remember:. We try so hard to achieve an ideal in our lives that is next to impossible. There really is no perfect body, perfect job, or perfect life.
Unexpected tragedies happen. Someone you love disappoints you. Letting go of this unattainable goal is a huge sigh of relief. Once we relax into the idea of letting go of perfection, life becomes easier, less stressful, and a lot more fun.
I was hiding from the world , desperately trying to conceal what I thought were imperfections. In the drive to be perfect, I never allowed myself to be vulnerable—to show up and let myself be seen. But since the pursuit of perfection is an endless chase, the approval and acceptance never came. Open Mic: Nov. Previous Post. Mar Sarah Kodama.
Perfection: a flawless state in which everything is exactly right. Perfection is the state at which someone or something, maybe even someplace, is free of all flaws or defects. This is the dictionary definition. But the dictionary definition, while it may be true, will differ in meaning for every person.
It depends on our background, our life goals, and every single action that we perform during our lives. This is the second thing that we need to answer. What is perfection to us?
Perfection, in my eyes, is being so great at something, there is nothing that anyone needs to teach you about that specific subject. However, my background and previous actions have influenced what I believe is perfection. This leads us to the third thing that we need to answer.
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